Rose-coloured spectacles or unrealistic optimism? I just don’t want to miss the dance…

Repeatedly throughout my life I’ve been accused of looking at life through rose-coloured spectacles. That is, that I look at life and people with unrealistic optimism.

As I come to the end of a weekend of difficult anniversaries and reflect on this accusation I started to wonder if it was time to change this. Is it time to be more pessimistic? To expect the worse of people?

I certainly seem to have to repeat the same lessons throughout my life, so there is something that I need to learn. Is this it?


Then I started to remember the good times.

It’s sometimes easier when you get out of bad situations to only remember the bad times.

However, life isn’t all bad.

Even the bad times had good moments.

I don’t regret either of my marriages or my live-in relationship, despite how they each ended.

I learned from them.

I grew from all three.

All had some amazing times.

With my first husband I learned to drive in a 1967 long wheelbase landrover, to fly and ‘chase’ a hot air balloon, we spent many happy hours canal boating with friends and searching for ‘trig’ points in the English countryside.

With my second husband, we explored the US and Canada taking many road trips driving from Louisiana at the southern-most point of the US to Canada in different trips. We hired a Jaguar convertible in Florida and swam in both the Atlantic & Pacific Oceans. With him, I visited DisneyLand and SeaWorld for the first time.

With my ex-partner, we saw the gigantic Christmas tree in New York and took a horse and carriage ride around Central Park. We saw a show live on Broadway and attended the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville. We sailed a Tall Ship and I fulfilled a dream of owning a farm.

I’ve bought and sold several different houses in many different communities. As a result, I’ve learned how to make a home in a new house in record time.

I’ve gained so many skills that will serve me well throughout the rest of my life.

I’ve also got years of memories of good times and amazing places. Yes, the relationships ended. Unfortunately, in all three cases with great tragedy and pain.

However, on reflection, I would rather have the memories, despite the pain, than to live a life with low expectations of others.

As Garth Brooks say’s so well…

“I could have missed the pain
but I’d have had to miss the dance”


One thought on “Rose-coloured spectacles or unrealistic optimism? I just don’t want to miss the dance…”

  1. well said! I too had one of those moments I had wanted share something with my best friend and realized I am in the process of divorcing him. I paused and thought … well there you have it … but I would change a thing because I do have an amazing son out of the whole experience. For someone who had declared she was never going to get married and have kids … lol I did both and I am walking away with a richer life and a lot of wonderful memories. Thanks for sharing!

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