Making tough decisions…

So last week I had to make a tough decision. I had intended to drive to Sudbury on Friday morning to attend Northern Constellations. This is a 2 day conference for faculty and staff who work at the Northern Ontario School of Medicine (NOSM).

I have two stipendiary positions with NOSM. The first of which I have held for a number of years now which is as a committee member of the Theme 2 Committee which ensures that professionalism is integrated throughout the NOSM curriculum and education. This committee usually meets in person during the conference whereas we use video conference to facilitate our meetings for the rest of the year.

My second appointment is new this year as the Family Medicine Research Tutor for Sault Ste Marie.

So as NOSM faculty I was really looking forward to the event and meeting my colleagues in person. However, the closer the event came the more my anxiety increased. Finally, after not feeling well for a couple of days I checked my blood pressure and found it to be very high. So I started to consider not going.

Unfortunately I was then booked to stay in a different hotel to the one that the conference was in. So this meant that I’d have two hotels to manage my allergies in. Two lots of open areas and two bars and restaurants. That was the final straw. With much regret I cancelled my attendance in person and set up to join the Theme 2 meeting by video conference instead.

Within a couple of days my blood pressure dropped back down to normal and the general sense of illness went away. So I knew it was the right decision.

However, it was a really tough decision to make. Not so much missing the specific event but rather having to accept the restriction on my life. However, given that my citrus allergy appears to still be extremely sensitive it was the safe decision.

Will I ever be able to stay in a hotel again? Maybe. But I need to break it down into smaller pieces rather than trying to attempt a full conference. Perhaps a night in a local hotel using room service rather than eating in the restaurant and checking that they don’t provide a breakfast buffet, with fresh oranges, in their lobby area.

It might be possible. Maybe by next year’s conference, which will be in Thunder Bay, I’ll feel that the risk is out weighed by the benefits. Though having to fly up there adds another environment to manage.

Some days are tougher than others. Some decisions are extremely tough to make but all I can do is the best that I can and look out for my own safety. It would be a lot easier if all my health issues would just get in line rather than my having to work them all out together!