Healing is not linear

I’ve had a few more down days recently which reminded me of something I knew, but had forgotten: healing isn’t linear. It’s not like once you’ve turned a corner it’s a straight line to full recovery. In fact, in this case I’m not likely to ever attain the same level of health that I had before. Anaphylaxis is a life threatening condition that has always been a component of my life but is now a cornerstone of every thought and action.

Whereas before I was sometimes a little careless about my allergies I now know I can’t afford to be, even once. In the past I was able to be present if an orange was peeled as long as I got out fast and self-medicated with additional anti-histamines. I don’t have that luxury any more. Just being in the presence of a citrus scented body wash for less than a minute was enough to trigger a severe asthma attack.

My only solution is avoidance. Unfortunately it’s not that easy to totally avoid citrus as it’s prevalent everywhere. So I also take huge doses of antihistamines carefully timed throughout a day to give me as close to 24 hours cover as we can. This doesn’t stop the reaction but it allows me to get out of my own home occasionally, under careful precautions.

As for my environmental sensitivities, reactions to scents generally… I have a new best friend: a personal air purifier. The one I”m using is the FreshAir Personal Air Purifier by Aerus. I wear this round my neck for my lung rehab and either it’s a very expensive placebo or it’s effective. I’ve been able to be in the same elevator as another lady who I can tell is wearing a heavy scent as I can smell it as she moves past me but stood a few feet apart I’m not being triggered into asthma or reactions. I wouldn’t like to chance it for more than a minute or so but it allows me a little bit more of a normal life.

Though between Kai (my service dog), my Epi pens, inhalers and now this purifier as well as all the medication I’m taking daily it does seem a little insane at times.

Talking of Kai – his natural alerts to my inhaler use is continuing. This isn’t a trained task and I don’t know what he picks up on though he seems to be paying specific attention to my breath. However, I forgot to take my inhaler before rehab. on Tuesday. It’s one that I need to take before exercise. I didn’t make even half a lap before he did a full alert having tried to get my attention more subtly he escalated his alerts to full paws up. At which point I knew I needed to do something but wasn’t quite sure what so I headed back to the rehab. office as I’d been feeling dizzy that day already. As soon as we were there he alerted to my bag. As my other inhaler was in my pocket I now knew what I needed. Took my inhaler and Kai settled just fine.

He really enjoys my off-balance days because he gets to work counter-balance where he pulls a little against a harness in the opposite direction to that which I’m off-balance in. Like most dogs he loves to pull so it’s a fun task for him though apparently its fascinating for others to watch him constantly adjusting his pull to keep me balanced.

Kai is a real superstar! He’s saved my life now more times than I care to imagine.

Anyway, today was a good day on that non-linear progress. The thing to remember of course, that even though there will be bad days I am finally recovering from the depths of where I was and that is something to be thankful for.

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